Whilst growing up in the early 90s, I grew up watching 80s/early 90s movies, with an elder sibling and elder cousins we had no other choice. Having trouble falling asleep last night, I decided to trawl through archives of movies on a certain website. Having seen most of the new movies, I decided on some disastrous nostalgic material.
Inspired by the terrible but good movie from last night I decided to make up a list of those types of movies. You know the ones. We all grew up with them. Some are embarrassingly our favourites. Here’s mine:
Death Becomes Her
Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Goldie Hawn together in one movie, you would expect a brilliant, Oscar-worthy movie right? WRONG! With a Bruce dressed like a pedo, and terrible acting to match. This story is about two childhood friends who are fighting over the same pedo… I mean the same man. Through in an obese Goldie, cats, an eternal youth potion which also makes you invincible, twisted necks, and a see through abdomen. BAM! You’ve got a great lame 80s movie for a boring night. My favourite part? When Meryl Streep’s boobs inflate after taking the potion. GOLD.
Drop Dead Fred
I loved this movie as a kid and still do. It’s about a girl who has an imaginary friend, Fred, as a child. Fast forward a decade and she’s starting to see him again. Fred, is this weird ginge with very crazy antics. The acting is terrible along with the tacky comedy. Also, the fact that the main character may actually have a mental illness from the abuse she copped from her over-controlling mother. Mental issues aside, my favourite quote? From when she starts seeing Fred again, he asks her ” You mean you’ve been doing it like the pigeons? Ooh yuck!!!”
I loved this movie because I always wanted my Barbie to come alive. So watching this as a child was a dream come true. But it’s actually about a virgin who falls in love with a mannequin (Kim Catrall), whilst working in a department store. Oh, by the way she also comes alive after hours and yes there is also a sex scene…with the mannequin… who is alive… and apparently cursed from Ancient Egypt?
Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching this movie and my favourite part was when the mannequin is on a motorbike ride with her virgin human boyfriend and she flips the bird to on-coming traffic. I laughed so hard as a child! And also seeing the quirky 80s department store fashion!
Michael J. Fox was my hero as a child, he always did the best movies like Back To The Future (obviously!), Doc Hollywood, The Frighteners etc. and Teen Wolf was one of them! A teen werewolf who is a star basketball player…Whats not to love? This a must watch. Lessons learnt from this movie:
1) Do not try doing backflips on top of a moving vehicle… unless you are a TEEN werewolf
2) Hairy guys turn on the popular bitchy girls. So boys put away that shaving gear.
3) The best way to buy beer when you are underage is to wait till your eyes turn blood-red and speak like a zombie to the guy at the counter.
Life Lessons Learnt.
Can’t Buy Me Love
Such a typical 80s teen romance flick. I love this movie because it gives hope to the misfits and geeks at school. Yes, money can buy you a girl. A popular girl at that. McDreamy hires his highschool crush as a girlfriend to become popular at school. While they are pretending to be in love, she really does fall for him after a while.
Best part? The African Anteater Ritual. If you have seen this you know what I’m talking about!
Watch it here.
Similar to TeenWolf, this is about an unpopular girl at school who finds she’s a witch and has powers. She uses them to get revenge on high school bitches and teachers… and also to score the popular jock as her boyfriend. But soon finds out the she cheated herself. The best part? When her geeky best friend busts out a rap and some hip hop dancing skills. TOP THAT!
Get the laughs here.
This freak show of a movie is fantastic! It’s like Grease with creepy characters. If you want a fat Ricki Lake, Iggy Pop bathing in a tin bucket, and a muso Johnny Depp all rolled into one then this movie is for you. Killer soundtrack and strange comedy. Favourite character? Mona Hatchetface. She completely freaked me out that I had to check if she was real!
Encino Man stars Pauly Shore and a very young Brendan Fraser. It’s two teenagers finding a frozen caveman (Brendan), whilst digging for a new pool. It brings back 90s nostalgia. Some very stupid and tacky moments but very endearing. Favourite part? When Link (Brendan) goes to war with a garbage truck.
I love Tim Burton’s movies. The have a distinctive style to them (usually the tacky decor). You can almost always tell when you are watching a Tim Burton movie, even without reading the credits. Beetlejuice is one of those odd creation of Burton’s. About a dead couple who want to scare off the family who have moved into their house. Beetlejuice is a crazy bio-exorcist, who turns things for worse for the recently deceased couple. Favourite part? When the couple try to scare the family with traditional bed sheets with holes.
Poltergeist I & II
They’re here!!! Probably one of the first horror films I saw, which scared me to death. I could not sleep, let alone let the tv pixelate when the channels are changed or the video has finished. Looking back, you realize how bad these movies actually are. With crap acting and special effects. But it’s one of those movies that you will watch again and again even though it’s bad! It’s about Poltergeist who take the family’s cute daughter into a parallel universe of poltergeist land. Oh and they connect with her through the tv, there’s a scary clown toy that comes alive, apparently real skeleton used as props and of course the most scariest gigantic Tequila worm that swallows a man whole. It happens twice to the same family. Yup. Scary stuff.