Movies that are so bad… that they’re good!

Whilst growing up in the early 90s, I grew up watching  80s/early 90s  movies, with an elder sibling and elder cousins we had no other choice. Having trouble falling asleep last night, I decided to trawl through archives of movies on a certain website.  Having seen most of the new movies, I decided on some disastrous nostalgic material.

Inspired by the terrible but good movie from last night I decided to make up a list of those types of movies. You know the ones. We all grew up with them. Some are embarrassingly our favourites. Here’s mine:

Death Becomes Her

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Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Goldie Hawn together in one movie, you would expect a brilliant, Oscar-worthy movie right? WRONG!  With a Bruce dressed like a pedo, and terrible acting to match. This story is about two childhood friends who are fighting over the same pedo… I mean the same man. Through in an obese Goldie, cats, an eternal youth potion which also makes you invincible, twisted necks, and a see through abdomen. BAM! You’ve got a great lame 80s movie for a boring night.  My favourite part? When Meryl Streep’s boobs inflate after taking the potion. GOLD.

Drop Dead Fred

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I loved this movie as a kid and still do. It’s about a girl who has an imaginary friend, Fred, as a child. Fast forward a decade and she’s starting to see him again. Fred, is this  weird ginge with very crazy antics. The acting is terrible along with the tacky comedy. Also, the fact that the main character may actually have a mental illness from the abuse she copped from her over-controlling mother. Mental issues aside, my favourite quote? From when she starts seeing Fred again, he asks her ” You mean you’ve been doing it like the pigeons? Ooh yuck!!!”

Mannequin

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I loved this movie because I always wanted my Barbie to come alive. So watching this as a child was a dream come true. But it’s actually about a virgin who falls in love with a mannequin (Kim Catrall), whilst working in a department store. Oh, by the way she also comes alive after hours and yes there is also a sex scene…with the mannequin… who is alive… and apparently cursed from Ancient Egypt?

Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching this movie  and my favourite part was when the mannequin is on a motorbike ride with her virgin human boyfriend and she flips the bird to on-coming traffic. I laughed so hard as a child! And also seeing the quirky 80s department store fashion!

Teenwolf

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Michael J. Fox was my hero as a child, he always did the best movies like Back To The Future (obviously!), Doc Hollywood, The Frighteners etc. and Teen Wolf was one of them!  A teen werewolf who is a star basketball player…Whats not to love? This a must watch. Lessons learnt from this movie:

1) Do not try doing backflips on top of a moving vehicle… unless you are a TEEN werewolf

2) Hairy guys turn on the popular bitchy girls. So boys put away that shaving gear.

3) The best way to buy beer when you are underage is to wait till your eyes turn blood-red and speak like a zombie to the guy at the counter.

Life Lessons Learnt.

Can’t Buy Me Love

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Such a typical 80s teen romance flick. I love this movie because it gives hope to the misfits and geeks at school. Yes, money can buy you a girl. A popular girl at that. McDreamy hires his highschool crush as a girlfriend to become popular at school. While they are pretending to be in love, she really does fall for him after a while.

Best part? The African Anteater Ritual. If you have seen this you know what I’m talking about!

Watch it here.

 

Teenwitch

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Similar to TeenWolf, this is about an unpopular girl at school who finds she’s a witch and has powers. She uses them to get revenge on high school bitches and teachers… and also to score the popular jock as her boyfriend. But soon finds out the she cheated herself. The best part? When her geeky best friend busts out a rap and some hip hop dancing skills. TOP THAT!

Get the laughs here.

Cry Baby

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This freak show of a movie is fantastic! It’s like Grease with creepy characters. If you want a fat Ricki Lake, Iggy Pop bathing in a tin bucket, and a muso Johnny Depp all rolled into one then this movie is for you. Killer soundtrack and strange comedy. Favourite character? Mona Hatchetface. She completely freaked me out that I had to check if she was real!

Encino Man

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Encino Man stars Pauly Shore and a very young Brendan Fraser. It’s two teenagers finding a frozen caveman (Brendan), whilst digging for a new pool. It brings back 90s nostalgia. Some very stupid and tacky moments but very endearing. Favourite part? When Link (Brendan) goes to war with a garbage truck.

Beetlejuice

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I love Tim Burton’s movies. The have a distinctive style to them (usually the tacky decor). You can almost always tell when you are watching a Tim Burton movie, even without reading the credits. Beetlejuice is one of those odd creation of Burton’s. About a dead couple who want to scare off the family who have moved into their house. Beetlejuice is a crazy bio-exorcist, who turns things for worse for the recently deceased couple. Favourite part? When the couple try to scare the family with traditional bed sheets with holes.

 

Poltergeist I & II

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They’re here!!! Probably one of the first horror films I saw, which scared me to death. I could not sleep, let alone let the tv pixelate when the channels are changed or the video has finished. Looking back, you realize how bad these movies actually are. With crap acting and special effects. But it’s one of those movies that you will watch again and again even though it’s bad! It’s about Poltergeist who take the family’s cute daughter into a parallel universe of poltergeist land. Oh and they connect with her through the tv, there’s a scary clown toy that comes alive, apparently real skeleton used as props and of course the most scariest gigantic Tequila worm that swallows a man whole. It happens twice to the same family. Yup. Scary stuff.

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The Fear of Flying

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As a child there was nothing more exciting than sitting on the plane, because that meant I would be going somewhere new and fun. Also, the joy of receiving an activity pack from the pretty air hostesses which usually included crayons, colouring book, toy and sometimes a small backpack.

Never affected by any inflight turbulence, knowing that my parents were right there to protect me. Fast forward another 20 years and BAM! My fear of flying has taken over! It’s not that I don’t travel enough, I travel quite a lot actually.

It may be from the bad turbulence on a budget flight ( let’s just say that they have been named after a wild animal) that I experienced flying from Tasmania back to Melbourne, where it sounded like the engine stopped and the plane dropped a few metres. Passengers including myself were screaming and gripping down hard on armrests with our knuckles turning white. Luckliy, we landed ALIVE but I never flew with that certain airline again.

Then in the news I started hearing well- known airlines crashing, engines malfunctioning or plummeting into the Atlantic… here’s to you Air France.

But having recently travelled to Asia on Singapore Airlines, you’d think I’d feel more at ease flying with what used to be my favourite airline, but every bump had me in sweat! The air hostesses did nothing to help, you think that they would be a little more attentative and compassionate when it comes to uneasy travellers. But NO! We had an elderly woman that was terrified when the plane had to circle in the air due to high airport traffic and the air hostesses didn’t even bother to reassure let alone to at least glance at her, they walked past numerous times and just ignored her! Poor lady!

On the long flight home, a lady next to me refused to stop chatting to her friend on her iPad, she kept right on during take off and then put it away without turning it off once she had lost range. Then she bloody started again before landing! The air hostesses ignored this both times! I kindly asked her to put it away but she just smiled and nodded, language barrier I guess. Her actions elevated my fears to high levels!!!!

 I do lose sleep over my flight for couple weeks  before my scheduled flight. Hopefully this is just a hurdle that I will get over, because I really do love travelling. Or maybe I should roofy myself for a comfy ride…hmmmm….

Chocolate Lip Gloss Recipe

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A lip gloss that’s chocolate in flavour and edible? I’m sold!

Check out this simple recipe.

You will need:

  • 3 tablespoons of cocoa butter ( try local health shops or eBay, around $6- $7 AUD for 100g)
  • 4 or 5 chocolate chips (milk, white or dark, preferably fairtrade and organic)
  • Vitamin E oil (either 1 teaspoon or one capsule)

 

Melt all ingredients in a small saucepan and blend well with spoon.

Pop the mixture into cute jars (I used small jam jars that you get in hotels).

Refridgerate until solid.

Great for gifts.

Enjoy xxx.